Happy Monday! Hope everyone has had a manageable weekend. Today you will meet Roxy, a wedding celebrant based in Brisbane. We recently did a shoot with Roxy; she was perfect for the role. The shoot involved a quadriplegic, and Roxy could not have been more patient, understanding & respectful (add to that a good dose of light-hearted humour - as the name of her beloved pup would suggest!). She was the perfect celebrant for the role and, as this one involved unique challenge (ones that we would welcome any day of the week to be clear), we can be confident that Roxy would embrace any situation and make everyone feel warmly welcomed. (We shared a little more in this Instagram post.) It is our pleasure to feature her and share the story behind Roxy Rocks. Thank you for joining in and taking time out of your busy schedule to share your story, Roxy! <3
Roxy <3
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Tell us about yourself
I describe myself as a dog-loving, wine-sipping, bicycle-riding celebrant.
I've been a celebrant since 2011. The beginning of my celebrant career started while I was in London, where I lived for 26 years. I moved to Brisbane with my dog (Valentine) and my husband (Danny Brown) in 2015, and when I arrived, I worked as a Strategic Project Manager for a not-for-profit whilst I gained my Cert IV in Celebrancy and built my business. By February 2017 I was able to give up the day job to focus on being a full-time celebrant.
I'm a creative person, and love art, design, and vintage shopping. I'm fairly social, and have been known to dance on a table or two if tequila is involved. I'm quite a maternal person, though I don't think I'm 'mumsie' (not that there's anything wrong with that). I am sensitive to other people, their thoughts and feelings. I'm usually the person my friends and family can turn to if they have a problem, as they know they'll get non-judgmental advice, or just a shoulder to cry on if that's what they need.
Why did you choose to be a celebrant?
This was back in 2011 when I was still living in London. Things work a little bit differently in England, and 'celebrant' is still a fairly unusual term. When people asked me what I did for a living, they'd often mistake it for me saying 'I'm celibate', which of course is something entirely different.
It all started when some really good friends were getting married, and I gave them a hand with their wedding. It was a pretty full-on event from a logistical perspective, and afterwards my friend suggested I should think about a career in the wedding industry. I was pretty sure I didn't want to be a wedding planner, and my photography skills leave a lot to be desired, so that wasn't an option. It then struck me that conducting a wedding would be the perfect blend of my previous skills as a journalist and a project manager. I still thank that friend to this day for planting the seed in my mind.
Who in celebrancy inspires you?
Celebrancy can be a bit of a lonely career sometimes. Although I work closely with my couples, I usually only get to see 'colleagues', such as photographers, florists, wedding planner, etc, fleetingly at a ceremony. To me, the lack of feeling like I belonged to a team was the only downside of my job, until I became a member of The Celebrant Society.
This group has over 400 members in Australia and New Zealand, with the ethos of 'Community Over Competition'. It's such a supportive group, as well as being very practical in helping me become the best celebrant I can possibly be. I've learnt so much from it, so I would say that the two pioneers of this group, Sarah and Anna, inspire me with their determination to keep it a safe space for us celebrants to learn and grow.
What should couples look for in a celebrant?
As there's over 9,000 celebrants registered in Australia, hunting for one can feel a bit overwhelming. We all come with different styles, ideals, vibes and ideas, and finding the right one can take a little while.
I suggest firstly to think about your ceremony and how you would like it to feel. Do you want something quirky? Religious? Funny? Romantic? Inclusive?
Once you've got a bit of an idea check out celebrant websites, Facebook and Instagram. Ask married friends who they used, or if you've already booked other suppliers, ask them who they think might be a good fit for you. Read Google reviews to get a feel as to whether they're the right person for you. Once you've got your shortlist, arrange to chat to them. I'm always happy to meet up for a no-obligation drink to see if I'm the right celebrant for you.
What type of celebrant are you?
I've often tried to think of a really exciting way to describe my celebrant style, but the best word I can come up with 'authentic'. To me, if you nail an authentic ceremony, everyone will enjoy it as they'll appreciate every moment.
Writing is important to me; I love it. So when I meet with a couple initially, I ask lots of questions so I can write something that is truly authentic. If the couple are playful, I'll incorporate this into the ceremony. If they're romantic, ditto. No two ceremonies are ever the same. I put a lot of effort into writing ceremonies, and this is probably the hardest part of my job.
I'm open-minded, inclusive, sympathetic, understanding, organised and easy-going. I have a massive smile, a healthy dose of humour, and I don't take myself too seriously. When I deliver the ceremony, I try to really engage with your guests, enabling them to feel included and part of it all.
What's the best advice you've ever received?
'Try not to stress about things you have no control over.'
I used to be a bit of a catastrophiser, working things up into a frenzy before they'd even happened. However, as I've got older, I've developed a calmness and ability to compartmentalise issues into those which can be controlled and those which can't.
What's the most important advice you think couples planning their wedding should know?
Do your wedding your way. It can be hard not to listen to others who have strong opinions during wedding planning, but guaranteed, if everything you include in your wedding feels genuinely 'you', then you will enjoy it so much more.
Oh, and if you're doing a DIY wedding, get an on-the-day coordinator. I promise you, they are worth their weight in gold!
What's your favourite type of wedding?
I love it when I conduct a wedding, and I can tell that the bride(s) and/or groom(s) are really enjoying it and are in the moment.
I've done elopements in a park where it's just the couple, their witnesses and myself, and have seen the couple mean every single word they say to each other. Equally I've done weddings with 200 people where the couple are looking at each other like there's no-one else in the room. Whatever the circumstances, I find when the couple choose the wedding they want, and do it their way, they have more chance of really enjoying the ceremony and feeling like they're in the moment.
Sometimes I'll have a bride or groom who are struggling to be in the moment. When this happens, I'll slow down a bit, reassure them if possible, or add in some humour to try and help them gather their nerves. The ceremony goes by so quickly, but it's such a landmark part of a life and I love it when the couple really get to enjoy this part of their day.
What's your favourite part of the ceremony?
I love this question, although it's the part of the ceremony which has absolutely nothing to do with me! When we do the signing, the couple sign first, then I ask their witnesses to take a seat, and I ask the couples to take a moment off to the side of the signing table. Most guests are usually distracted during the signing, maybe having a chat to each other or enjoying some music.
This is usually the first time that day that the couple have seen each other without all eyes on them, and often I see them say to each other something like 'Hello, how are you?' or 'My god I can't believe we're really married!' There's a little look that happens between the couple at that moment, a sense of intimacy, happiness and love, and it's my absolute favourite moment during any ceremony.
What do you love about working in the wedding industry in Brisbane?
Firstly, I love Brisbane. Like, looooooove Brisbane. I'm still relatively new to this city and am always finding new places to explore. I think our lifestyle here is top notch, and the accessibility to mountains, beaches, lakes and country towns is fantastic.
As far as the wedding industry is concerned, I have truly found it so supportive. It took me a little while to get to know people, but once I did, I've found most vendors and suppliers have been accepting, friendly, and just a whole lot of fun to work with.
It's a reasonably small industry, and we tend to work far and wide. I'll often be out in Toowoomba or Noosa or Byron Bay doing a wedding, and low and behold, there's a Brisbane based photographer.
I met Emily from Poppy and Sage on a photo-shoot down in the Gold Coast, and she was so friendly and kind. We then met up for a coffee a few months later back in Brisbane. This is what I mean. Just the most lovely industry I've ever worked in, and I realise I am truly lucky to be a part of it.
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Website // https://roxyrocks.com/
Instagram // https://www.instagram.com/roxycelebrant/
Facebook // https://www.facebook.com/roxycelebrant
